Psychoactive medicines facilitated some of the biggest breakthroughs in my life. 

Psilocybin being one of my favorites.

In 2020, I was in love with a beautiful soul that had a hard childhood.  His default, learned ways of expressing his emotions and fears would scare me.  My flight response would then trigger more fears of abandonment and anger.

It’s safe to say our relationship felt like a rollercoaster I didn’t knowingly buy a ticket for.  I was unhappy, yet also afraid of leaving him.  

After another argument, he told me I didn’t know myself and I didn’t know God.  A part of me wondered if this was true, yet another part thought he was wrong.

Feeling lost and confused, I went to the mushroom medicine for guidance.  I went to the Brewer Creek and ate 4 caps and 4 stems.  

I don’t know if it was the environment, the mushrooms, my body, my state of surrender, or all of the above – yet, I have never experienced an experience like this on psilocybin to this day.  

I can hardly describe it in words.  I just remember sobbing from feeling so much love, support, and peace.  I just kept repeating ‘Thank you.’  

In prayer position with my eyes closed, I was seeing many visuals.  When I would try to open my eyes, all of the outside world was fractaling in and out, with nothing looking solid.  It felt like I was in a dream, yet I was VERY awake. 

I prayed & asked Spirit, ‘Please tell me where I need to go to do the most healing for myself and my family?’

I felt or heard clearly:

‘Go home to St. Louis.  You were born there for a reason – you have to go back and figure out why that is.’ 

Within the next two weeks, I packed up my life in Sedona and drove back to Missouri. 

My time back was met with more magic, miracles, expansion, and lessons than I could have ever thought up myself.   Grateful for the plant teacher – psilocybin.

More stories on how psychoactive medicines have changed my life in the book ‘Seeds for Self-Healing

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